480
480
Jul 14, 2011
07/11
by
COM
tv
eye 480
favorite 0
quote 0
my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight author matthew richardson. he is author of a book about fannie mae and freddy imagine and -- freddie mac and why the two shu never have gotten married. republican michel bachmann has surged above president obama. the key to the success progrowth agenda, adherence to the founding fathers principles and something special. >> analysts say her uncompromising views on homosexuality are one of big reasons she's gaining traction in iowa. >> jon: what? why would iowans be so concerned about what happens three inches below the corn belt? [laughter] since the iowa supreme court legalized same-sex marriage in 2009 they've noticed real changes in the state's cash crop! [laughter] yes, their worst fears corn destroyed by a (bleep) playing. [laughter] a -- (bleep) plague. movie about iowa field of -- if you build it they will -- you know. [laughter] it's no surprising the message is resonating to conservatives there. unless you think she's pandering rest april sured she's be on thi
my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight author matthew richardson. he is author of a book about fannie mae and freddy imagine and -- freddie mac and why the two shu never have gotten married. republican michel bachmann has surged above president obama. the key to the success progrowth agenda, adherence to the founding fathers principles and something special. >> analysts say her uncompromising views on homosexuality are one of big reasons she's...
173
173
tv
eye 173
favorite 0
quote 0
here it, is your moment of zen. >> tonight i am going to tell you that jon stewart, because of what he did, is a racist. i don't believe that, but i'm going to tellcaptioning sponsory comedy central >> stephen: tonight, big news for wal-mart, not wal-mart big but big. and then animals respond to advertising. you know what they say? leg humping sells. [laughter] and my guest alexandra pelosi made a documentary about immigrants becoming u.s. citizens. i'm going to watch it backwards and make them all leave the country. [laughter] the pope wrote his first tweet today. he is truly the vessel through which god wastes time. [laughter] this is "the colbert report." ["the colbert repor captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) [cheers and applause] >> stephen: thank you very much. very kind. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, everybody. thank you for joining us. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. [cheers and applause] thank you, very kind. nation -- [cheers and applause] i don't know actually -- thank you, please, please. please -- i have to --
here it, is your moment of zen. >> tonight i am going to tell you that jon stewart, because of what he did, is a racist. i don't believe that, but i'm going to tellcaptioning sponsory comedy central >> stephen: tonight, big news for wal-mart, not wal-mart big but big. and then animals respond to advertising. you know what they say? leg humping sells. [laughter] and my guest alexandra pelosi made a documentary about immigrants becoming u.s. citizens. i'm going to watch it backwards...
266
266
Jul 15, 2011
07/11
by
COM
tv
eye 266
favorite 0
quote 0
my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling on august 2nd, man will be sentenced to an eternity of licking our own pet's genital, because what would we really do? let them dry out? of course not. [laughter] so hopefully our president, barack obama, can in one swift rooseveltian "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" moment ease the american psychoi can. >> can you tell the folks at home that no matter what happens the social security checks will go out on august 3rd. >> i cannot guarantee that those checks go out on august 3rd if we haven't resolved this issue because there may simply not be the money in the coffer
my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling...
701
701
Jul 22, 2011
07/11
by
COM
tv
eye 701
favorite 0
quote 0
from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. [cheering and applause] our guest tonight, a young man named scott miller. he is the author of a new book on william mckinley's ass. [laughter] i'm going to assume that is "assassination." you got to stop abbreviationing around here, not to say that william mckinley did not have a noteworthy rear end. folks, we are a mere 15 and a half months away from what will definitely be called the most important election of our lifetime. an inveritable herd of republican candidates have already begun the treacherous migratory journey to become their party's nominee. they will need strength. they will need agility. they will need luck. but mostly to survive they will need money, [bleeped] boatloads of money. >> we have the numbers behind you. mitt romney $18.4 million. pawlenty $4.4 million. bachmann the same. huntsman $4.2 million. herman cain raised $2
from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. [cheering and applause] our guest tonight, a young man named scott miller. he is the author of a new book on william mckinley's ass. [laughter] i'm going to assume that is "assassination." you got to stop...